Sometimes i am amazed at how God uses Z to teach me.
Whenever Z loses his sight on me, unless there is distraction, he will start crying for me. No matter how much i shout to make my presence known, he will continue to cry for me. When I reached his cot, held his face with both my hands saying “Mommy is here! Don’t cry, Z!”
He would still continue to cry with eyes closed. Only stopped when i kept repeating “Mommy is here! You can’t see me cos you are crying with your eyes closed! Silly boy!” When he finally opened his eyes looking at me, he started to whimper (with a very sad look saying – where have you been ? )
Hence I began to teach him that even i am not in the same room, if he hears my voice, he should learn to stop crying for me cos I am still here. Then it struck me, how many times have I cried for God and not stay still to listen to His voice for direction? How many times have I not open my eyes to fix my sight on God and despite God’s assurance that He is always there for me?
Let Go Let God
Newborn babies usually when feeling guarded, fearful , anxious or perhaps also due to reflex, will clench their hands very tightly. Thus this made it very difficult for me clean his little hands and fingers. (So much dirt trapped!) Whenever I see his hands clenched tightly, i will tap his hands saying, “Relax! Open your hands! Only when you open your hands, then you can feel and touch mommy’s hands! With open hands, you can play and touch other things too! ”
Again it struck me, how many times have I hold on to worldly things tightly refusing to let go? How many times have God gently tap my hands to ask me to stop holding on, let go and let HIM take over and He will give me even better things? How many times?