Yesterday around evening, I almost hit the 100 degree stress boiling point again. I wanted very much to break down and cry cos my studies and work were too overwhealming for me. My mind was 100% filled up. It was filling out with so much things in my head. No matter how hard I tried, the moment i closed my eyes, many images of to-do list pop up right before me! That was so scary! Is worst than having a nightmare. Seriously… i thought i was going to faint from stress.
These happen during I was having dinner with my classmate. My friend just rattle on “Did you know .. ? Did you do … ? Have you …? What is …? When is…?”
Thousands of questions poured out infront of me. I told her blankly. No i have no idea these things need to be done.
I open up my laptop and checked my school email – more of these appear “Please do…. Please report…. Please register…. Please take note…. Please…..”
As if I was not feeling stressful enough, I went to check my work email…. Hoping i can get some peace from my work. Nope! I open up my email.. I saw these “Have you… Can you…. Please kindly… What is…. ???????????
I stare at my the laptop screen. What on earth was i doing? My head began to pound very hard. It was so painful… then my friend asked me, “Hey.. eat dinner lar.. don’t check already”…
Immediately, I cried. I mean i cried in my heart … I quietly eat my dinner while my friend still rattle on. Suddenly I wish I was alone.
With a tired heart, during the whole dinner I didn’t really pay attention to what my friend was saying. I was in my own world. I started to wonder loud, how come I got so much things on hand. I was feeling stressful and very stretched. I needed a break. but how when? Then suddenly my friend asked me,
“Katherine, that a nice wallpaper… what Anew?” I looked at her blankly before i replied “oh ! Anew is an event in my church. Is praise and worship mini concert kind of thing. Then i designed this logo for our church t-shirt. ” “Nice… use photoshop?” “Yup”
~ Ok the thing is… when i saw the design i did – the words “transformation and living sarcrifice” came to me. .. The 2 words are suddenly like light bulb just shine infront of me overpowering the rest of things around it. I realized i need to be transformed and renewed by God. I was too caught up in my own world of business. I didn’t spend time with God.
In my own world again, I started to chat with God… really literally chatting in my heart. I was like a dual core processor – listening in and out of my friend (not really listening seriously) and talking to God.
The Holy spirit just keep rattling 2 words FOCUS GOD in my head.
After awhile, my mind begin to clear.. blood pressure go down also.. not so high as before.
I clicked on to my digital Post it notes on my desktop. On the first to-do thing of my priority list?
“Pray to God”
Shall do this everything i hit boiling point again. Amen